KJ

The last time I write

T

Every single time I sit down to write an article, I always take time to remind myself that it could the last one I write. Truth is, there will be a last post, this could be it, I don’t know, I hope not. There will be a last time you read from this blog, or even read at all, maybe this is it, I hope not. My hopes notwithstanding, our relationship has an expiry date. Whether I like it or not, with every single article I post, if it’s not the last, then we are one less article closer to the end; a last one is coming nonetheless. This applies to everything you know, everything you own and everyone in your life, there’s an expiry date on everything. In a few years, the very space you occupy as you read this will be occupied by someone else, and just like you don’t think of who occupied that space about 10 years ago, the clueless human that will be occupying your space will give no thought of you. That’s the true nature of things, they come and they go.

If you are wondering why this matters; it’s because you are living the dream life. Of course not your dream you ungrateful piece of sh!t, it’s someone else’s dream. You see, regardless of how unsatisfied you may be with your life right now, there’s someone somewhere who would kill to have your life. If you are reading this article, then you should know that you are privileged. No, I don’t mean the fact that you get free doses of wisdom (cheeky smile), I mean in real life. It means you have access to a smartphone or computer, internet, tissue paper (had to include that), by the way, did you know King Henry of England never had tissue paper? That aside, there’s someone somewhere who can’t even wipe their ass, someone somewhere doesn’t have eyes, or people that love them, or not able to read, or is sleeping on the streets on an empty stomach? Forget your bundle problems, again, you ungrateful piece of sh!t, have some perspective in life. The point here is we need be more appreciative of the things we have rather than spending too much time focusing on those we don’t.

Now, I’m not saying that you don’t be ambitious, ohhhh wait, I guess that’s what I’m saying. By definition, to be ambitious is to be unsatisfied with what you have, to always seek newer, shinier things of the world. Manage your ambition, or your ambition will be your source of suffering. At some point in the future, for a reason that you don’t appreciate right now, you will look back at your life with nostalgia, like many people do when they think of their childhood, or high school years or college. Before that time comes, and I assure you it will, just be patient, for now live my dear. Experience the present, what’s in front of you, the people who are alive with you today, remember they won’t be forever, like I said, there’s an ever approaching expiry date. The challenges you are undergoing, look at them as a vaccines.  To improve your immune system, a vaccine – a weak version of a virus – is normally administered, you may feel unwell for a short period of time, but it’s better for your health in the long run. So stop thinking short term, you are gem being refined, pea refinery kazi rahisi!

Now back to the first point, for everything you do, please do it like it could be your last time because one day you will be right. Here’s a question for you, when you were young and playing games, say like brikicho or kalongolongo (to the younger readers, hizi ni apps za kitambo), did you ever think that you were playing that game for the last time? Can you remember when you last you played? That’s the point, you will never truly know when it’s going to be the last time and that’s why you need to treat every time you do it as though it were the last. So when you read this piece, please do it like it could be the last time, the next time you are in the company of the people in your life; maybe your parents, or a husband, or your kids, have some fun with it, that could actually be the last time you have such a time together. Don’t get so hang up on the stupid staff, Ooohh, you said this, Ooohh, you didn’t give me that, again, you ungrateful piece of sh!t, develop some perspective. When you drink with your friends, when you remove your clothes to have sex, do it like it’s the last time, do a good job (wink), be present and enjoy the ride.

A tale is told, that in the ancient Roman tradition, when a general was victorious in battle and was parading through the town as the crowd cheered for him, a servant, preferably one of the acquired slaves, would stand behind the victorious general and continuously whisper in the general’s ears, “Respice post te! Hominem te esse memento! Memento mori!” = “Look behind you! Remember that you are but a man! Remember that you will die!” As you go about your day, remember to be present, remember to live, remember death. Not so you become sad, but so you become free, you love more, you smell more, you defecate more (I had to 😉), you take things less seriously, you laugh louder, remember there’s an expiry date and promise yourself, that before it comes, you are going to leave everything in the field, and when it finally knocks, you’ll be empty.

I don’t know about you but at some point I desperately wanted be who I am today, it would be stupid if I kept longing for more without appreciating the journey this far. If you are like me, enjoy it man, be present, if not, remember things could always get worse, and you live long enough, they will. The longer you live the more friends you will lose, the more relatives will disappoint you, the more you’ll be betrayed, the more setbacks you’ll suffer, and the more lonely it’s likely to get, so before it gets worse, and again, you live long enough I promise you it will, enjoy the present. Memento Mori friend.

About the author

Ken Juma

Thinker of thoughts, lover of life.. and death too.

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By Ken Juma
KJ

Ken Juma

Thinker of thoughts, lover of life.. and death too.

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