You are not special, no one is..

“You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else.”

Chuck Palahniuk

Let me tell you a little story about you and me. The very fact that you are you and I’m me is all but chance. From the probability of your mother and father meeting to them having sex at just the right time is chance. The fact that you went to the school(s) you went to, taught by specific teachers who themselves were there by chance is chance. The fact that you have the siblings you have, the friends or even work colleagues is all chance. Have you ever imagined, what if Bill Gates father didn’t have sex with Bill Gates mother at the right moment, or he did but “poured outside,” how different would the world be? Or on the day of conception, Einsteins father had to work late.

In the modern world, material possession has informed how we are perceived. The more you have the more respect you receive. The pastor will shake your hand more firmly, the relatives will laugh at your stale jokes, children will be told to emulate you, friends will be keen to stay close and elders will treat you as an adult even when you are not. Don’t let yourself be fooled by these. As is everything, you have what you have by chance. Whatever you have. All chance. I know you think you are a hard worker, and maybe you are, the point here is it doesn’t matter. 99.99% of life is all chance. Theists will call it God’s will. Philosophers will look at it as ways of the cosmos. Whichever side of the divide, very little is your own doing.

Here’s an example, trace how you met a friend or spouse. Imagine how many things had to work out just right for things to turn out the way they did. If you delayed somewhere by a few minutes, for example you had to cut your nails, things would be totally different. Or if you accidentally fart that day, how’d things turn out? Everything is all but chance. Your current president could easily have turned out to be a drunk villager and your drunk villager the president. And there would be no BBI 🙈🙈. Stop overestimating your role in how things turn out. Listen, I’m not saying you didn’t play a part somewhere to influence the result, I’m saying in the grand scheme of things, that part is almost negligible.

You can think of death bitterly or with resignation, as a tragic interruption of your life, and take every possible measure to postpone it. Or, more realistically, you can think of life as an interruption of an eternity of personal nonexistence, and seize it as a brief opportunity to observe and interact with the living, ever-surprising world around us.

Barbara Ehrenreich

This goes to how you’ll die as well. All chance. Whether it’s corona virus, or an accident or being shot by robbers or even killing yourself. There’s a lot that compounds to the event leading to your death, very little of which you have control. Barbara Ehrenreich in her book Natural Causes: life, death and the illusion of control says, “You can think of death bitterly or with resignation, as a tragic interruption of your life, and take every possible measure to postpone it. Or, more realistically, you can think of life as an interruption of an eternity of personal nonexistence, and seize it as a brief opportunity to observe and interact with the living, ever-surprising world around us.”

The argument I’m making is that we are versions of each other. The other person could easily be you and you could easily be them. The next time you stare outside and see a beggar by the street, look at them as some other versions of you. In another life, that could be you. If some event somewhere didn’t unfold when and how it did, you could be a different person now. We ought to be empathetic to the vulnerable. In fact, to Everyone. This informs some of the reservations I have about religion. It makes you think you are special, “God’s people.” Which then translates to mean the rest are “non-special.” This is a dangerous precedent to set in a world where everyone has sinned and fallen short of the glory.

Before you judge others and their actions, think of the times you’ve committed similar actions yourself. Or do you think you are special with no wrong? And that you were destined for #success and #haters are just out here to get you? 🤣🤣🤣. Free advice, a good part of the time, people just do what favours them. Nobody really cares about you. I repeat, nobody gives a sh!t about you. I could be digressing here but just stay with me, your parents care for you because you are their child, your sibling(s) because you are their sibling. It’s about them, not you. You could be replaced by anyone and your parents will love that person and not give a f**k about you. So stop thinking that people are always scheming to bring you down.

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Hanlon’s Razor

Be slow to judging others, in fact, why judge when it’s only a matter of perception? What makes you think you know enough to pass judgement? Different people will judge the same situation differently, what makes you think yours is the correct one? And if you’ve been wrong as well in the past, where do you get the moral right to judge? This applies to when others judge as you well. See their thoughts for what they are; a thought, a mere opinion. Always apply the Hanlon’s razor; never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

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