WHY PEOPLE CHEAT AND OTHER SHORT STORIES…

Today I’ll just be dishing out random information that you can survive without knowing but are still very interesting. I can just imagine how many of my harlot friends and relatives came here for the cheating part, nevertheless, buckle up.

Let’s start here, in the book “Selfish Gene,” there’s a chapter called – battle of the sexes – that describes sexual behaviour in males and females. That chapter is long, detailed and very interesting, but I know you won’t read it so here’s a shitty summary; to help raise their offsprings, women will always prefer (demand for) faithful husbands, men on the other hand benefit more from abandoning their wives at the earliest opportunity and mate with other females to spread their genes further. It is simply more genetically rewarding for men to be philanderers than faithful. How do women ensure they get faithful husbands? They do so by playing coy (aka, hard to get), for example, she may insist that the man invests in her (via time, resources, etc) before she mates with him; this increases her chances of landing a faithful husband. In monogamous birds, the female will not mate until the male builds her a nest. Among humans, it could be meeting the parents or whatever your current culture endorses. So assume we have coy and slutty genes among women against faithful and philandering genes among men.

In a population of too many coy women, any slutty woman will have an advantage since men won’t need to invest much to mate with her (Simply put, she’s cheaper). In a population of too many slutty women, the coy ones will have an advantage since only they will get a faithful husband and the associated benefits. For stability, the society has to reach some sort of balanced state; also known as – Ecologically Stable State or ESS – in the amount of coy and slutty genes among women and faithful and philandering genes among men. If you do the math, it turns out that a population having 5 out of 6 women as coy and 5 out of 8 men as faithful will achieve an ecologically stable state. The ESS could equally be achieved if each man spends generally 5/8 of his time being faithful and 3/8 philandering; and each woman spends 5/6 of their time being coy and 1/6 being slutty. Again, this is a shitty summary for the busy ones, if you want more details, buy me beers. There goes our first story and excuse for cheating; trying to maintain the ESS ✊🏿!

Next I stumbled upon this term “pair bonding.” It’s loosely defined as an enduring sexual monogamous relationship between two adults (aka, a “happy marriage”). It turns out that we are born with some natural ability to form pair bonds and that there are several factors that can affect our ability to form such bonds. Your pair-bonding ability has to do with your Dopamine and Oxytocin Receptor levels (in short, too much biology for a free blog). Of most interest to me, obviously, was whether and to what extent is having several sexual partners impact one’s ability to pair bond. Here’s a short answer, most of the research points to a significant reduction in the ability to pair bond among individuals who’s had multiple sexual partners in their past. As it were, this tends to affect women more, my hypothesis is that it has do with the ESS; no research outrightly said this though. How significant is the impact? Apparently, if she started having sex below the age of 18, her ability to pair-bond reduces even further. Now, don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean she can’t get married, it simply means her ability to pair-bond is significantly affected. So guys, before you marry her, confirm her body count, it’s very important. Want to know exactly how many is too many? Buy me many beers😎!

MEN TODAY HAVE 50% LESS SPERMS THAN THEIR FATHERS… WHY?

Apparently, sperm count has been dropping by about 1% every single year. At that rate, sperm count is halving every 50 years. Testosterone, the holy male hormone, has been dropping at the same rate as well. Like in the others, the research is huge so I won’t delve into the details, you can buy me beers for that. It happens that there’s a class of chemicals called Endocrine Disrupting Chemicals (EDC) which affect the reproductive development of a baby while in the mother’s womb by disrupting hormonal production. One of the most affected hormones is the male hormone; testosterone, which is produced in the early stages of a pregnancy if the child is male. Exposing a mother to these EDC’s earlier on in her pregnancy greatly affects the foetus’ ability to make testosterone. Remember, it is at this early stage that the foetus should be masculinized, meaning this is the time organs like testicles, the penis and other male traits begin developing. Now if testosterone production is disrupted, masculanization process is affected and the foetus defaults to female. Meaning the man comes out half backed, i.e incompletely masculanized; anakuwa mwanaume nyanya nyanya hivi.

An example of such EDC are called phthalate which is mostly found in plastics. So if a pregnant mother, carrying a baby boy, is exposed to high levels of phthalate especially earlier on in the pregnancy, the foetus tend to be incompletely masculinised and may exhibit feminine traits. This correlates to low sperm count, incomplete testicle descending, a generally smaller penis among others. These chemicals are found in plastic products, e.g. food containers, nylon clothing, cosmetics, soaps, perfumes, creams etc., the chemicals are literally everywhere. So, for the ladies, maybe before you marry him, you might want to understand the lifestyle of his mother, or just check his balls, very important. Question, could plastics have something to do with the “rising” homosexuality? I’d love to discuss that over some beers.

That’s it for today good people, you can comment with the kind of interesting story you would like me to tell for free next time, or you could just stop playing coy and buy me beers 😉.