In My Uncle Era

Yoh, I almost forgot I was a writer, capitalism is choking all talent out of me. But don’t worry mafans, Uncle Ken is back. Yeah, I’m clocking the age where I have more nephews and nieces than I have friends, tumefikiwa. Here’s what we are going to do today, I will give you a drunk man’s advice, and I will then ask you to pay for the advice by buying me beer. Let’s go.

Dear son,

You see, life is a cycle, and each stage demands something different from us. Sure, every stage of life has it’s own pleasures and pains, there’s more excitement in childhood and in youth than any other stage awaiting you. Of course, life is different for everyone, and some face very tough childhoods. I hope you don’t. Either way, there’s an assumption that adulthood comes with some magic touch, some unexplained flare and pomp, it doesn’t. It’s hard to admit, but no one really knows what’s going on, everyone is just winging it, none of us has the compass of life. I don’t care how poised they look son, it’s all a gamble. This becomes more and more clear the older you get.

Things change every moment so I won’t pretend to be speaking for everyone. But just like in childhood when you are wishing for a new toy, you’re doomed if you get it and you’re doomed if you don’t. Because by getting it, you will be certain it’s not what you really wanted or hoped it would be, but by not getting it, you remain a fool; for you’ll never know. The wheels of desire never stop, constantly buffeting the walls of your head. Whether you get what you wish for or you don’t, desire will still linger.

Unlike in childhood, as an adult, you soon realize the excitement of everything eventually fades. It gets worse since you start to anticipate the very moment that excitement will fade. When you know very well you are on a hedonic treadmill, you are racing to nowhere. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying life is meaningless, though I can’t say it is; I guess what I’m trying to say is enjoy your childhood more, when you are a child, be a child, on the flipside, when you become an uncle, be an uncle. Each stage in the cycle will unravel in it’s own time. Should you live long enough to be an adult, enjoy every stage of the journey. Don’t sacrifice your current life for a life you hope to live in the future, because it really doesn’t get better, and if it does, like everything else, it won’t last. The 2nd law of Thermodynamics (Entropy) states that in the universe, things will always move from order to disorder, in other words, it is in the nature of things to break down. Every moment of happiness, every achievement, all the wealth you can accumulate, the families you’ll build, all will break down at some point. When they do, you’ll need to be strong enough to endure.

Learn contentment. Even as you seek, remember to celebrate every moment for at some point you had wished you would be where you are now. But you’ll soon forget and return to seeking another and another. It’s a curse, see it for what it is.

“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.” – Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Open your eyes son, all you have is the experiences in your life, own them. Nothing will really make you happier if you’re not already happy. I said nothing will make you happier if you are not already happy. As an adult, you’ll realize true happiness doesn’t exist, and if there’s a chance it does, it’s will soon fade. “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;” Ecclesiastes 3:1-2.

The underbelly of life is ugly, too ugly to fully describe here, I’ll let you discover that for yourself. Or you can buy me beer and I will give more details 😉.

What if I make a lot of money and travel the world? You ask, well, Socrates was once told that a man had not been improved by travelling. “Of course he was not,” Socrates said. “He went with himself.” I would wish your journey is different from mine so I won’t suggest a solution, not even travelling.

Unlike in childhood, as an adult, days begin to mirror each other, sucking you into cycles and patterns. The politics, the economy, the culture and the people, nothing really changes despite the illusion of perpetual motion. Your grandmother used to say, jogi e joka, leuni e ma gi loko (these people are the same as the other ones, difference is the clothing). I’m aware of how discouraging this post reads, but I must warn you son, there’s a curse in adulthood that you only get to truly grasp after you become one. If it’s not the relentless barrage of responsibilities, then you have the stale and ever tastelessness of life, the mundane and routine. And this is if you are among the lucky, should fortune fail to smile at you, shit can get worse, way worse.

But listen son, there’s always hope. Whatever the circumstance you find yourself you can never lose hope. Not in the face of adversity, not in the storm of despair.. Never. However dark things may seem sometimes, the sun will still rise. You start dying the day you start losing hope. Make your story about rising again; learning your lesson, dusting yourself and getting back to the ring. Never stay on the floor. Take your punches and finish your rounds. Kesho ni Holiday, beer zinaisha kwa bar.

I’ll leave you with my all time favourite poem, Grass will grow.

Grass will grow

If you should take my child Lord
Give my hands strength to dig his grave
cover him with earth
Lord send a little rain
For grass will grow

If my house should burn down
So that the ashes sting the nostrils
Making the eyes weep
Then Lord send a little rain
For grass will grow

But Lord do not send me
Madness
I ask for tears
Do not send me moon hard madness
To lodge snug in my skull
I would you sent me hordes of horses
Galloping
Crushing
But do not break
The yolk of the moon on me.

– by Jonathan Kariara (1935 – 1993)

Before you go, tafuta blessings from uncles like me, buy me beer, I give better advice when drunk. See you guys.